oops

18 Jun 2012 18:29
deidrichenstein: (Default)
JUST BE WARNED FIRST OFF THAT THERE IS MAJOR TL;DR KLUAGDSLFIYG SHIT AHEAD, SWEARING AND SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRETY OF SEASON TWO.
I'll stop yelling now.

Okay so perhaps the last one was slightly on the fanatic side. The people making A Game of Thrones are not cunts, at all. I actually have a great deal of affection for most of them. However, there are issues in season two. There are so many issues. And 98% of them come from the clutzy way ideas and scenes are handled this time round. The first season had a few of these as well, however compared to this time round they might as well be non-existant. In fact, that's probably where this season also trips up, in that they did such a fucking unfathomably no-one-even-dared-hope-for blitzing ragingly awesome job with the first season the second was always going to have problems. Always. Because now shit startes to get really difficult. You've got a plot so rapidly expanding in all directions it's ridiculous, and a host of new characters to introduce and develop while also keeping our 'old' characters well-rounded-out for us all. In season one we also have the benefit of two central plot-lines, the who-dunnit in King's landing, and Dany kicking ass for the ladies in Essos, with the added bonus of Jon making the wall a bit sexier than before. This keeps things relatively simple.

Now we have no 'central' plot. The figurative shit hits the fan and it's flying everywhere. Now we have Robb and Cat in The Riverlands, Renly and co. in The Reach, Tywin and Arya at Harrenhal, Stannis and Mel and Davos, Wildlings, and Theon at the Iron Islands; with Winterfell, Kings Landing and Essos still to contend with. That is a lot of data to stuff into 10 episodes. And it shows; episode two is rushed and jarring, scenes sit next to each other with little going on between them, episode three is probably the low point of the whole series for me, thus far. And in general, the strength of this season lies in the actors performances, and their ability to create truly stirring, gut-wrenching moments that are let down by the fact they don't rise above the whole. However, I do still find much of this season encouraging, despite some massive problems and most importantly, TRULY unnecessary divergences from the book.

I always expected divergences from the book, in fact I was astounded by just how few season one contained. They've basically gone from lifting fantastic scenes straight out of the book into these beautiful things we can finally hear and see to just... making shit up. And it's this 'made up shit', shit that serves no purpose in enriching or pushing forward the plot (resulting in very little actually HAPPENING this season), that's the big problem. I have no issue with them using creative licence, altering and omitting and amalgamating secondary characters, showing us things that happened offscreen in the books, or even just telling the story in a different way. One would in fact expect that, given the huge difference in medium and the fact they are not constrained by the POV format of the books. But when it comes down to it, what they've chosen to do in TO MANY cases, is just stupid. O.o

NO.1 is, without a doubt, Robb. I was sensing, and feeling somewhat worried about, the HERO!ROBB vibes I was getting in the last couple eps of season one, which were then confirmed when it was announced that much of what goes on with Robb is actually going to happen onscreen. At first, I was totally willing to run with it, after all Richard Madden is hot, charismatic and makes a zesty Robb for sure, so I can understand their hesitation in letting all that go to waste. However, onscreen!Robb has amounted to nothing but how he's actually really just rather stupid after all. Something that was understandable if exasperating in the books, while also being somewhat endearing and even poignant to some, is now infuriating. It is in fact understandable and reasonable that in the midst of war and injury, grief and betrayal, the circumstances in the book in which Robb betrayed his pledge to Frey, that he took comfort in Jeyne Westerling. That, because he's Ned Stark's son, he remedies the 'blight' on this girls' honour by marrying her immediately, in a moment of insanity, without thinking, panic, HE MADE A BLOODY MISTAKE. What we get now onscreen is this random chick not-Jeyne from VOLANTIS (Volantis! Fucking Volantis! What in the motherfucking hell were they thinking when they thought LOL VOLANTIS?) who pisses us all off from the get go by argumentating the morality and ethical fibre at Robb about going to war 'n shit.
Clumsily.
Their GREAT LOVE then appears to spurt like a fountain out of a few more meaningful conversations about love and life and responsibility carried out in scenic glades and strategy tents, accumulating in a hot fuck on the tent floor. Which while being extremely pleasing to the senses :P IS INFURIATING. They then cap all this off with Robb TELLING CAT his intentions, after obvious deliberation, that he's just going to piss all over the oath he made to Frey because he 'feels like it'. THAT IS FUCKING RETARDED. It completely alters him as a character. Robb is naive and terribly honourable, like Ned, HE'S NOT FUCKING STUPID.
That isn't to say however, that all their material sucks. It doesn't, much of it is very enjoyable to watch, but when looked at in the grand scheme of things it makes me want to fucking break stuff. It's just annoying 'made up shit'.

Second great annoyance of this season is: Stannis and Mel. I think Stannis is, thus far, the only real miscasting. And I can't stand Stannis. I really can't. I think he's a self-righteous, rigid, fanatical twat with the leadership skills of a foot. But the fact is that Stephan Dillane is not Stannis. He just isn't. There is nothing Stannisy about him at all. Renly also suffered from this, but he improves a great deal this season. I came to like him almost as much as I do in the books. But anyway back to Stannis and Mel. Mel isn't miscast but there is something about Carice so far that just doesn't sit right with me, from the first time she drawled 'The night is dark and full of terrors' at Dragonstone, something just sounded wrong. It sounded almost robotic, artificial. Forced.
And then their relationship. Jfc. We all know they've slept together in the books, we all know okay, but Martin is actually capable of using this thing called subtlety that seems lost on the show's writers. So now we have this ridiculous scene in which Mel just has to get her tits out, whisper something about procuring Stannis ol'boy a 'son' and wham bam just like that let's fuck on the Westeros table. Jesus. Mabye it's just me but I always had the impression that it took a fair bit more coaxing than that, that he was conflicted and guilty about it (due to being Stannis and married an' all) and that Mel was fucking on top. SHE was the god damn initiator, not him. I doubt he'd be capable of showing that much lust if he was having his last fuck on this earth.
Davos, on the other hand, FUCKING AWESOME. LIAM CUNNINGHAM YOU HAVE ALL MY LOVES ALL OF THEM. I LOVE YOU DAVOS.
Salladhor Saan was annoying. Nothing to add there. :(

And OH Brienne. I can't believe they actually managed to make Gwendoline so unattractive. Good job. Brienne is a fucking feminist icon so there. ARGH the final episode... "Two quick deaths", and she slowly and painfully rams and twists her sword into that guy with that animalistic, hateful snarl on her face. GODDAMN that was incredible Gwendoline. I am pleased.

I don't really have anything to say about the Renly and Marg stuff. It's good. Renly is greatly improved and Marg... well she's interesting. They've decided to make her ambitious which is mysterious to me, since the mystery of her character and motivations are important in AFFC. One thing though, I was fucking outraged by the cry of "SLUT" that reverberated through the fandom at her appearance and scene with Renly. You're all filthy assholes, okay? You all suck, so fuck off. Her dress is low yes, you can see a great V of flesh between her small breasts that is very tantalising, and in my opinion, hot. You rock that dress girl. She then goes to her husband wanting to address the business of consummating their marriage, for what appear to be incredibly practical reasons like giving him an heir. HER FUCKING HUSBAND, get it? Sorry, but are women sluts now for wanting to have sex even with their husbands? Fuck off.

Then again: WHY SO MUCH IRRELEVANT PORN. It actually get's to the point in the first 3 episodes of being ridiculous. Ridiculous. There's tits and vag in every second scene, for no apparent reason at all. Now I like tits and vagina's lots and lots, but there needs to be this thing called SUBTLETY, I don't need to be slapped around the face with them okay. Theon's 'cabin fuck' is just disturbing. Tyrion's 'nameday gift' for Joffrey is terribly predictable. Littlefinger is no more a savvy businessman with investments in an array of different businesses, but the owner of these SPECIFIC brothels, that he micromanages so that the writers have a good excuse to add plenty of fellatio and penetration to these spicy scenes. That serve no purpose other than making Littlefinger an awful cunt. THANKFULLY ep4 onwards curtails this bullshit quite thoroughly.
this goes on for a long time )

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July 2012

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